


Through Hell and Back

by b4rd-of-l1f3 (knight0fd00m)



Series: Scourge Sisters [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: A LOT of violence, A Lot of Death, Bulimia, Character Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning, I make Vriska's life a living hell, Kidnapping, Major Character Injury, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Mobsters, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Self-Harm, Surprise toward the end!, There's so much going on it's hard to tag it all, Vigilante Justice, Violence, Vriska's life sucks guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:29:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight0fd00m/pseuds/b4rd-of-l1f3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>=====> Vriska: Enter<br/>Plunged into a world of blood, murder, and darkness, Vriska struggles to do the right thing. When guilt overrides her dreams and her waking emotions and her life takes a turn for the worst, will she ever be the same?<br/>=====> Terezi: Enter<br/>Vriska is up to something, and she’s going to find out what. However, when things go out of control, will Terezi even survive the fight?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Vriska: Flip Shit

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited about posting this that I'm going to start posting this now! I'm almost done (I think, maybe, I don't know yet, this one may end up to be longer than the first part and that one was 20 chapters, my longest fic to date.) Well anyway I'll stop blabbering and let you guys read! Enjoy!!!
> 
> EDIT: Hi again, I posted this edit with the first part of the series but I figured I'd let you all know that I'm re-writing this series and as we speak I'm about 1/3 of the way done with re-writing Saved. I'll be posting it under this series so if anyone wants to compare the two versions they can! I'm really liking how the re-write is turning out so I'm excited to show it to you guys!  
> Once again, I am not glorifying mental illness, I suffer with quite a few and it's no joke. If you are triggered by any of the tags, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. I don't want to trigger anyone!  
> Thanks for reading you guys! Feel free to let me know what you think! :)

Chapter 1: Vriska: Flip shit

====> Be Vriska

Working sucks, but there wasn’t much I could do about that right now.  
I dropped my backpack on the table and stretched. Fuck purses, they got in the way and had a greater chance of getting stolen. Plus, what if someone was stupid enough to try and attack me? It’d get in the fucking way.  
Terezi was sitting at the table, working on some work for school. She elected to go straight into law school here in Prospit.  
Without even looking up from the notes she was scribbling, she yawned and said, “Hey Serket, Nepeta called earlier and asked if her and Equius could stop by later tonight.”  
“No ‘hello how are you?’ I feel the love here Pyrope. And to answer her question if they want to trek all the way here from Skaia that’s their problem.”  
She snorted, “I don’t think they care. Equius has today and tomorrow off and Nepeta is, well, you know.”  
Nepeta was in med school to be a veterinarian, but after a car wreck she took a week off. She was really shaken up about it, but only when she was behind the wheel of the car.  
I nodded, “I’m guessing Equius will be driving then?”  
“Of course. Did you honestly think that Nepeta would be driving?”  
“No, how stupid do you take me for?”  
She laughed maniacally, looking up at me with a crazy smile, “You don’t want to know.”  
I shoved her playfully, “Oh shut up Pyrope! I graduated college didn’t I?”  
She laughed, “Oh I know.”  
We laughed. This is what I liked, the fact that we could bicker and end up laughing at each other because we’re both crazy and stupid sometimes.  
I looked at the clock, it was 5:30 PM. Terezi had texted Nepeta and she had told her that they would be here around 7.  
Eight minutes later, my phone went off. Private number, “Hello?”  
A deep voice came over my ear, “Hey there Vriska, it’s your father.”  
My blood ran cold and I walked into the other room, “What the fuck do you want?”  
“Is that any way to address your father after all this time?” he sounded sarcastic, and a little irritated.  
“Of course it is! You abandoned us after I was born! How the hell did you get my fucking number anyway?”  
“I’ve been in contact with your sister,” his deep, booming laugh was pissing me off. “She was more than happy to give me your number.”  
List of things to do, kill my sister.  
I spoke through gritted teeth, “Okay, well, what on Earth possessed you to call me after 22 years?”  
“Can’t I want to speak to my own daughter?”  
“No! You can’t just re-insert yourself into my life after abandoning us when I was born!” I was yelling by now and I had walked out of the apartment, into the hallway.  
“You know, I didn’t want to do that. Work got in the way,” he sounded calm, which infuriated me.  
“What? Let me guess, work comes before family right? Fuck you you jackass.”  
Wow, I spent a little too much time around Karkat.  
“In my line of work, it’s either you work or your family dies. Besides, I figure you would be happy to know that there is an… opening of sorts in the family business. Your half brothers are into it themselves.”  
A chill crept up my back, “Who?”  
“I’m pretty sure you know them, but you and your sister took your mother’s name. Do you know the Ampora’s by any chance?”  
I couldn’t speak. The Ampora douchebags were my half brothers? Once I regained my voice, I yelled, “You’re telling me that I’m related to those snobs?!”  
“No need to yell Vriska.”  
“They are the same age as Aranea and I you cheating bastard!” I screamed.  
“Actually, I was engaged to their mother when… things happened with your mother and I. A mistake on my part dear daughter of mine.”  
I was fuming, “Don’t call me that! Soooooooo you’re saying that Aranea and I are illegitimate bastard children of two criminals?”  
“I wouldn’t phrase it like that, but yes.”  
“Fuck you! this conversation is over.”  
“Before you hang up, don’t you want to hear what I’m offering?”  
“Why the fuck would I be interested in anything you would offer me?”  
“Because it’ll make you rich.”  
“You have thirty seconds.”  
“A job in the business. You will be rich, and yes this is a line of work that is… questionable with the law, but the police can’t find us. They haven’t been able to find us for generations. I assume you have your mother’s family sign branded on you somewhere, the Scorpio sign?”  
My veins were full of ice, “How did you…”  
My zodiac sign, evidently my mother’s family’s sign, was branded on my left shoulder when I was 15 against my will. It was right next to my robotic arm.  
“I have connections that you wouldn’t believe, that and your mother never left the business. After she was chased out of the piracy ring, she came to me.”  
“I thought you were in the same piracy ring as her?”  
“That was a lie given by your mother.”  
My silence provoked him to continue talking, “Then all you would need to do is go through initiation.”  
I stood there in silence for what felt like hours. We weren’t rich, not by a long shot. We needed the money.  
However, Terezi would never approve of criminal activity, and I can’t turn on her like that.  
Or could I?  
“Give me a day to decide.”  
“Excellent, I will call you at this time tomorrow.”  
“Yeah. Talk to you then.”  
I had an idea, I just needed to get the specifics on how I was going implement them, because if I do this wrong, everyone I know and love will most likely feel the repercussions.  
Or end up dead.


	2. Vriska: Join mob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the last chapter was too short so I posted this one just before midnight cause I worked late and now I'm not tired. Still working on the later chapters! I wanna thank my friend who is my beta reader, who catches all my terrible grammar and yeah.  
> EDIT: Wow I caught an error in my notes for this chapter oh my god why?

 

Chapter 2: Vriska: Join mob

  
  


It was midnight, and it was freezing.

Eridan walked over and clapped a hand on my shoulder, “It w-won’t be that bad Vris, I mean if I can 00do it, you can too. After all, you’re a cold bitch.”

“Shut up Ampora, I still can’t believe we’re related,” I snapped.

Cronus laughed from somewhere behind me in the pitch darkness of the alley. The only light coming distantly in front of me from a street light

“You’ll be fine doll, trust me,” Cronus said.

I turned around to find him standing with his dad, my dad, who I’ve seen once before during high school. He was tall with black hair and two scars that came over his face.

“Welcome my daughter to the family business,” it was then did I notice Tavros bound and slung over my father’s shoulders.

“Is that… Tavros?” I asked.

“Is that the Nitram boy’s name?” He asked dismissively.

“Yeah… he’s a friend of mine…” I said slowly.

He shrugged, “His father crossed the family, and now they must pay the price.”

Realization hit me like a goddamn truck. “You want me to kill him?”

“You catch on fast, I like that,” he dropped Tavros onto the ground. He stirred a little and moaned in pain. I noticed a trail of blood seep from a wound on the side of his head.

“I can’t just… what?” I stared at him in disbelief.

“It’s either you kill him, or we kill you for seeing too much,” Father said matter of factly.

I sighed. I couldn’t take them all out myself, it just wasn’t going to happen. I also couldn’t just die and leave Terezi not knowing what happened or to possibly leave her in danger from these nut jobs. However, if I kill him, whether he was a friend or not, if Terezi found out she would more than happily turn me over to the authorities. Key word being if.

I drew my switchblade out of my pocket. I guess I just have to not be caught. Terezi can’t find out. I walked forward as Tavros pulled himself onto his hands, trying to pull himself upright, before he looked up with his eyes wide with fear, “V-Vriska? What’s g-going on?”

I pulled him upright and kneeled in front of him, “I’m sorry Tavros, but I have no other choice.”

Then I stabbed him in the chest.

Blood gurgled out his mouth as he choked on it and choked on whatever it was he was going to say. He coughed blood all over my shoulder and stared at me in confusion and despair. After a few agonizing seconds he slumped over in my arms, dead.

I dropped him and my father walked over, placing his hand on my shoulder, “You did well Vriska.”

I sighed, “Yeah, well, you didn’t give me much choice.”

He laughed, “I gave you a choice and you made the right one, welcome to the family.”

 

~====<3====~

 

I was just a thug, someone who went on jobs and sat in on deals and meetings and killed whoever crossed Father, the infamous Orphaner Dualscar.

My plan was well under works, and I was getting plenty of money as a bonus.

I had told Terezi that I had been moved to second shift so she didn’t get suspicious as to why I was always gone out at night, and I hid a great deal of the extra money in case my plan failed and I had to bail myself out of prison and also so she didn’t start wondering where all the money came from.  
I didn’t want to hide this from her, but she never would have approved of my plan. She wouldn’t immediately ask where all this money came from, even if I could pay for her time in law school and then some.

Unfortunately, if I was ever caught before I reached the final stages of my plan, I wouldn’t even have the opportunity to bail myself out.

However, seeing as after a month I’ve already killed ten people, I would be imprisoned anyway when I implement my plan. I was in essence sacrificing myself to take these fuckers down.

As long as they went away and faced the death penalty, it would be completely worth it.

Eridan was driving the car back to headquarters. I turned my knife over in my hands, it was stained with blood along with my hands. Cronus was whistling some tune he had started bringing together in his head in the seat next to me and Father was in the front seat. Aranea worked as a doctor at HQ, so she wasn’t here. The car behind us was another one of Father’s men, coming back from a different job elsewhere.

Basically an informant had brought it to Father’s attention of the gang that had been kidnapping and killing members of the mob. They had been a group that Father dealt with regularly, and they had been dealt with accordingly.

We arrived at headquarters and I walked silently to the infirmary. Not because I was injured, I was too good for that.

I washed the blood off my hands, it was Spades Slick’s blood from the Midnight Crew, and drove home. On the way home, flashes of me spinning around to dodge Slick’s knife and stabbing him came to mind. I stabbed him probably close to five times before letting his body drop to the ground.

Terezi was passed out, thank God. Even though I washed myself up and had a different set of clothes on, she would still smell blood on me thanks to her keen nose, and I wouldn’t have an explanation as to why.

I had stopped to get groceries on the way home, so I quietly put them away. I was preparing myself for sleeping, which was going to be torture.

I took a shower to be extra safe before heading off to bed, curling up next to Terezi, who in her sleep rolled over and pulled me close to her as if I had been there all along. I nuzzled my face in her hair and started drifting off, but oh my God I wish I hadn’t.

 

The alleyway was twisted, a warped version of the alley from my initiation.

I stood in the cold wind, in nothing but the shorts and tank top I had fallen asleep in. My hair was still pulled into a ponytail, and I wasn’t wearing shoes. I crossed my arms over my chest to try and warm myself in vain, exhaling clouds of vapor from my lungs.

I turned around when I heard a gurgling croak. Tavros was laying on the ground, blood dripping from his mouth.

“Why’d you do it Vriska?” he choked out. “I thought we were friends.”

Suddenly my mind threw me back to the initiation. The fear and confusion in Tavros’ face. The look of pride in my father’s face. How Eridan looked away and how Cronus looked pleased.

My vision cleared and I found myself kneeling in front of Tavros,who had collapsed from his position of holding himself up. I held my hands out in front of me and my hands were covered in blood, Tavros’ blood. I was shaking, how could I do this?

His head was turned to the side, staring off at the wall next to us, “How could you? Was your own sick, twisted sense of justice worth killing a childhood friend?”

I threw my head back and screamed.

 

I sat bolt upright, screaming and holding my head.

Terezi scrambled up and yelled, “What’s wrong?!”

I slammed my mouth shut, my scream echoing through my head like a pinball. After a minute of that I opened my eyes and turned to Terezi, nauseous.

She raised a hand to my cheek, “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, still shaking from the dream. My stomach was doing flips, and my throat was aching from screaming, “Just a nightmare.”

She frowned and gave me a concerned look, “Another one?”

I nodded before getting up and running to the bathroom to throw up, barely making it in time.

 

 


	3. Vriska: Attend Tavros' funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure how most funerals go. I’ve only been to one in my teen/adult life and I was crying for most of it so I don’t remember. Also, sorry for the short chapter, I was going to add this to the last chapter but I didn’t want the chapter to be /that/ long so I just wrote a short one.

Chapter 3: Vriska: Attend Tavros’ funeral

I walked into the Nitram family’s church in Skaia. Karkat’s father was the Reverend here or something, I didn’t know much about how Christianity worked. I never believed their beliefs, I preferred to master my own destiny, not leave it up to a god that may or may not exist. I made my own luck, and so far it wasn’t working much in my favor.  
I hadn’t been here since Nepeta and Equius’ wedding no more than six months prior.This was a much sadder occurrence.  
I looked up at the closed casket, thanking the aforementioned deity that may or may not exist that it was a closed casket ceremony.  
I didn’t cry, Serkets don’t cry unless all hope is gone. Which in this case, it would have been acceptable, but it wasn’t at the same time.  
I almost broke down when his brother Rufioh spoke however.  
“Tavros was my baby brother! I took care of him for as long as I can remember while Dad was at work,” he choked on a sob. “He was taken from me and Dad far too soon. My little _hermano _is gone. I promised I’d take care of him, that nothing bad would happen to him, and I failed my own baby brother.”__  
He broke down sobbing. His dad had to walk up and help him back to the pew that they were sitting at. I felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach.  
Mr. Nitram spoke next.  
“My little boy, the strongest man I’ve seen since I saw his brother, was taken away.I don’t know what sick monster could do such a thing. He was just entering med school so he could be a veterinarian, so he could make a difference in the lives of helpless animals. Well, he’d give me that look if I called them helpless,” he laughed softly, but it was broken. Hollow.  
“He would say, ‘Dad, they are not helpless. They are just sick or hurt. You wouldn’t call a cancer patient helpless now would you?’ It was the only thing he felt so passionate about. He wasn’t the most confident, but he was still my son and I love him. My _hijo _, I love him, but at least he’s with his mother now.”__  
He went to his seat and Karkat and Kankri’s dad came back to the podium, “Friends and family of the poor departed soul, let us pray.”  
We all looked down and clasped our hands. I felt nothing but guilt churn in my stomach and my blood.  
“Loving God, we thank you for the gift of life. Today we thank you for the life of Tavros and all that he was. We thank you for the memories of Tavros, which we can keep, as a source of comfort and continuing thankfulness. We thank you for those aspects of his life which meant so much to us. By your grace, help us this day to commit Tavros into your hands and as we do, grant us your peace, In the name of Jesus Christ our Saviour. Amen.”  
We all murmured “Amen” and sat upright. This time, Rev. Vantas read a Pslam, which one I don’t remember.  
“The Lord is my shepherd; therefore can I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. He shall refresh my soul and guide me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me; you have anointed my head with oil and my cup shall be full. Surely goodness and loving mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”  
After he spoke for awhile longer, we held the funeral procession to the cemetery. Terezi drove.  
Everyone threw clumps of dirt onto his casket after it was lowered into the ground, everyone saying goodbye.  
When it was my turn I tossed in the dirt and said goodbye before whispering, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”


	4. Terezi: By suspicious

Chapter 4: Terezi: Be suspicious

 

=====> Be Terezi

I drove, yes drove I finally got my license, us home because Vriska was too shaken up to drive.  
The only other time I’ve seen her so shaken up was when… Actually even when she was told about her mom slitting her throat she wasn’t this shaken up.   
I’m assuming it’s because she's known, well knew, Tavros for so long.  
However, when Rufioh called with the news, she wasn’t this shaken up either.  
It wasn’t like her to be so… messed up about anything. She handled things better than I did.  
Naturally I was upset to hear that Tavros had been murdered. I mean, who would murder a 22 year old paraplegic? Tavros didn’t have enemies, he was too much of a good person. He had been nice to everyone.  
I pulled into our parking spot and sat there for a moment before saying, “I’m going to find whoever murdered him, and bring him to justice.”  
Without looking at me, she nodded.  
We went inside and Vriska immediately hit the kitchen, eating anything and everything she could get her hands on, which was mostly junk food we kept around the house for when we were too lazy to cook.  
It took me until she locked herself in the bathroom that she was mid-binge-purge cycle.  
I walked quickly to the bathroom and pounded on the doo, “Vriska I swear to God if you start purging I’m gonna kick your ass!”  
She opened the door, toothbrush still in her mouth surrounded by toothpaste, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m getting ready for bed.”  
“Serket it’s only 8 and don’t you have to work tonight?”  
“No, I took tonight off and I’m just really drained from today,” she said, staring past my head.  
“Why are you lying to me? Vriska you know I don’t judge you, I’m just worried okay?”  
“How do you know I’m lying?”  
“Cause I know you. We’ve been together for how long now?”  
“Almost 3 years?”  
“Exactly, now tell the prosecution the truth..”  
She laughed, but it was hollow, “Okay, fine. I binged yes, but I didn’t purge on purpose. I ended up nauseous from the intake of so much food and threw up okay?”  
I studied her face for a moment. She was lying, “Fine, don’t tell me the truth.”  
I spun on one heel and walked away with Vriska staring after me.  
~====<3====~

A week later, I noticed that Vriska was still bingeing and purging, but whenever I confronted her about it, she was still lying to me. It was depressing to know that the one person I loved most was hiding things from me.   
I sat on the side of the bathtub in a pair of boxers and a tank top, turning a razor over in my hand.  
I wasn’t perfect, I’ve messed up a few times over the years, but at this moment the turmoil was burning a hole in my brain.  
I turned it over again. Vriska was at work, she would never know. I know lying to her wasn’t any better than her lying to me, but two can play at the lying game.  
That wasn’t fair, but I didn’t care at the current moment.   
I looked down at the scarred skin of my thighs. Over the last few years, ever since Vriska found out, I moved onto my legs. She still found out of course, but I’d tell her right away if I fucked up.  
This time I wasn’t going to tell her.  
I know it didn’t make it right, but I was going to do it anyway.  
I lowered my hand and rested the corner of the blade on the side of my thigh, not even digging in at all. I sat there for a moment before digging in and slowly dragging it to the side.   
Blood beaded up to the surface and spilled over, dripping into the tub. I lifted the blade and moved down my leg about a half a centimeter before digging in the blade and dragging it across and through my skin again.  
I repeated the motion 4 more times.  
The screaming agony in my head finally ceased after the 6th line. I exhaled, not realizing I had been holding my breath the entire time.  
I started running the bath water and washed the blood off the blade before tucking it in it’s hiding place in the cabinet under the sink.  
After the water was high enough I undressed and lowered myself into the tub.  
Within five minutes the water was stained pink.  
I got out when the water ran cold and dried myself off. I brushed my teeth, staring at myself in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes, and I was paler than usual. My pale eyes were bloodshot, and my face looked sunken. I hadn’t had much sleep lately, and I hadn’t eaten much either. Vriska ate most of the food, and I hadn’t had the appetite to eat.  
I walked out of the bathroom after making sure everything was clean and crawled into bed.   
It took me two hours to fall asleep.

~====<3====~

I woke up to Vriska screaming again.  
I wrapped my arms her shoulders as she held her head and screamed. Eventually, whether that be minutes or hours, she calmed down enough to not be screaming, only sobbing.  
I rubbed her back and she held her face in her hands. “I’m-” hic “sorry Terezi,” she said, not looking up.  
“Why? What’s wrong? What are these nightmares that you keep having about?” I asked cautiously.  
She shook her head and looked up, not looking at me, “Doesn’t matter. I’m sorry I keep waking you up.”  
I frowned, “Of course it matters Vriska. Whatever is causing you so much pain does matter. I’m not stupid and I’m no longer blind. I can see how this is affecting you. I can see you in your binge-purge cycles.”  
She stared off into the distance, “Yeah, I’ve been purging, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Tavros’ death has just hit me pretty hard. I mean if it happened to him, what’s stopping whoever did it from hurting one of our other friends, or even you? I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”  
I hugged her, “I’ll be fine Vriska. I can kick ass when I need to.”  
She didn’t move her head, still didn’t look at me, “What if whoever it is is someone you can’t fight?”  
“Then I’ll die trying.”


	5. Vriska: Be threatened

Chapter 5: Vriska: Be threatened

I walked into Father’s office, wary of whatever it was that he called me in for.   
It’s been three months since I joined the “family business.” I’ve killed more people than I can count. None of them hit me as hard as Tavros did.  
Father sat at his desk with Eridan and Cronus standing at either side of him.  
“Vriska, my daughter, you don’t look well. Are you alright?” he asked, leaning over his desk.  
“I’m fine Father,” I said simply.  
He nodded, “Good. It has come to my attention that you’ve been rather… ill as of late. Eridan says you were pretty shaken up at Tavros’ funeral?”  
I shrugged, “It’s fine.”  
Why did he bring that up? That was awhile ago…  
He nodded again, “Good. It seems to me that the Nitrams have crossed us again. We have… custody of the other Nitram boy and we need you to take care of it.”  
I blinked and my mind flashed back to seeing Tavros bleed out in my arms and I flinched.  
Father tilted his head, “Something wrong daughter?”  
I opened my mouth and no sound came out.  
Eridan scoffed, “You’re a heartless bitch V-Vriska. This shouldn’t be a problem.”  
“Shut up fish-face!” I snapped  
“Enough,” Father stood. “It’s either you kill him, or I”ll have to drag your little girlfriend into this.”  
I felt all the blood in my face drain away. Not Terezi, anyone but Terezi.  
“I’ll have to make you kill her, and the Nitram boy,” he said coldly.  
I stared at him before speaking through gritted teeth, “Fine, I’ll take care of it.”  
He gave a cold smile, “Good. I’ll have Eridan take you.”  
I nodded stiffly, “Let’s get this over with.”  
Eridan nodded and we walked to the room Rufioh was held in silence,  
Eridan left me in there alone and left. I turned to Rufioh, who had his hands bound behind his back.  
He looked up at me, “Vriska? Doll don’t tell me you’re involved with this mess.”  
I looked down the hallways before cutting the bindings, “Come on, we’re getting out of here.”  
He blinked, “You’re-”  
“Shh! If we’re caught you, me, and Terezi are dead. Now, I need you to kick me in the chest and head as hard as you can and run. Take a left and run straight to the emergency exit. From there run, run as fast as your feet can take you,” I whispered.  
He blinked, “Why are you helping me?”  
“For your brother. Now, quickly!”  
I stood straight and he roundhouse kicked me in the chest, and then the head as I staggered back.  
Everything went black.

~====<3====~

I came to to feel someone trying to shake me awake, “VWriska! WVhat the fuck happened?” I heard Cronus’ signature warbled voice.  
I groaned and sat up, my head throbbing, “He attacked me and knocked me out. I don’t know how he got his bindings free, but he knocked me the fuck out.”  
Cronus nodded and looked disgusted, “Lil’ sis, Father is not going to be pleased.”  
“I know,” I said miserably.  
He picked me up when it became apparent that I couldn’t walk straight and walked back to Father’s office.  
Father looked up from his desk, “I heard the Rufioh boy escaped. Why?”  
I felt blood trickle down onto my face and I gestured to it, “He kicked me in the head and my chest. Fucker got his binding free somehow.”  
He nodded slowly, “Eridan, go fetch Aranea. Have her look at Vriska’s head. She has had brain damage before, no need for it to get worse.”  
I held back a scowl as Aranea was brought in to check me over and deemed that I was fine, just a mild concussion.   
I looked at her when she finished. She looked so disappointed in me.   
“I know you can do better than that Vriska,” she said quietly.  
I looked away, my face burning in shame. However, I knew I had done the right thing. This “business” was putting everyone I knew in danger and I had to work fast to implement this plan.  
I was going to take this mob down.

~====<3====~

The next morning, Terezi noticed the cut on the side of my head.  
“What the hell happened to you!?” She half yelled in a shocked tone I never heard from her.  
I shrugged, “Crate fell on me at work. I’m fine.”  
She started inspecting it, “Are you feeling okay? No dizziness or anything?”  
“I’m fine Terezi.”  
She sighed, “Okay, if you say so.”  
I have her a sad look, “I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“For everything I guess.”  
She shrugged, “You have nothing to be sorry for. Also, who are you and what have you done with Vriska?”  
“Are you going to say that every time I try to be nice?”  
She gave her trademark grin, “You bet your ass I am!”  
I snorted and hugged her, “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”  
She laughed and hugged me back.  
It was Saturday, so we spent the day watching Con Air for the 8th time that month. Terezi thinks it’s a stupid movie, but I think her crime dramas are stupid and I watch that with her.  
I left for “work” around 8 after giving a full out kiss on the mouth.  
“What was that for?” she laughed.  
“What? I can’t kiss my girlfriend?”  
She laughed maniacally, “Of course you can. I’m just asking about the ferocity.”  
“I love you, do I need another reason?” I laughed.  
She laughed and shoved me toward the door, “Love you too you sap! Have a good night Serket!”  
I was laughing as I left.  
I walked to “work” like I did every night, however, this time I ran into Rufioh.  
“Vriska? Oh my God thank you for saving my tail the other night,” he spoke too quickly.  
“Just don’t mention it. I’m going to let you in on a secret,” he nodded and I continued. “I’m working to take them down. Actually, can you give me a lift to the police station, I have enough intel to do just that. I’m probably going to face the death penalty for this, but it needs to be done.”  
He nodded, “Let’s go.”  
~====<3====~

Rufioh and I walked into the police station and the receptionist looked up, “Can I help you?”  
“I’m here with information that the force will greatly appreciate,” I said slowly before looked behind me.  
She nodded and an officer walked over, “Come with me.”  
We walked with him into a side room with me looking behind me every few steps. I didn’t trust that Father’s thugs wouldn’t just come out of nowhere and cull us all. Even in a police station.  
He led us into a room and asked for me to give me my ID. I handed over my license. I’ll probably never see that again.  
“So… Vriska. What information do you have?”  
“I have vital intel in reference to Orphaner Dualscar’s mob from the inside,” I said slowly.  
He nodded at the camera and a detective walked in.  
She sat across from me with a legal pad in hand. She clicked her pen and looked up at me. I thought I knew who it was when she walked in, but when she lifted her head my jaw could have hit the flood.  
It was Latula Pyrope.


	6. Vriska: Confess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.

Chapter 6: Vriska: Confess

Latula’s eyes widened, “Vriska?”  
I looked at her almost sheepishly, “This is going to be awkward.”  
“I’m the detective assigned to the case for the mobs around here. Now, tell us what you know.”  
I took a deep breath, “The mob boss is Eridan, Cronus, Aranea, and I’s father. My mom was an underboss until I was born.”  
“What is Eridan and Cronus’ last name? And for the record Aranea’s?”  
“Ampora. And Aranea’s is Serket.”  
“Alright, continue.”  
I inhaled but not air went through, “They are located in the warehouse on 33rd and Main Street. Cronus is his underboss.”  
She nodded for me to continue, scribbling notes on the page. I continued, “And… in order to get into the mob you have to go through an initiation.”  
“What is the initiation?”  
I looked at Rufioh with grief surely written all over my face as I started hyperventilating, “You have to kill someone.”  
“And for the record, are you considered in the mob.”  
“I went in to reveal them to you guys, but yes.”  
“Do you know the name of the person you killed.”  
I stared at the table, “I’m so sorry Rufioh, but it was Tavros Nitram.”  
“WHAT?!” Rufioh bellowed. “YOU KILLED MY BABY BROTHER?!”  
I stared at the table. I didn’t see him rise to his feet, I barely felt him tackle me out of my chair and start beating me. I didn’t fight back, I knew I deserved it.  
The cop pulled him off me and I sat up, rubbing my face. My nose was broken, but I didn’t care.  
Latula helped me up and I returned to the chair, “I rescued Rufioh as some sick sense of redemption, but it doesn’t condone it. I’m personally responsible for the deaths of Spades Slick, Hearts Boxcar, Clubs Deuce, and Diamonds Droog of the Midnight Crew. At least six members of the Felt, and Tavros. I know I’ll face death, and I don’t care. I deserve it. I don’t know how many the others have killed, but I’ve told you all I know.  
Latula nodded, “Due to this information the best we can do is offer you a plea bargain, but you’ll have to help us get to them.”  
I nodded and held out my bloodied hands out, “Take me, I’ll show you the way.”

~=====<3=====~

They cleaned me up, and I directed them to the warehouse. I showed them the entrance, and the SWAT team went in. Several minutes later, they had me go in. Their sense of urgency as to why I had to go in was almost frightening, but I wouldn’t admit to being scared of anything.  
I did not want to see what I saw.  
I saw countless members get dragged out in handcuffs, and they lead me to Father’s office.  
He was holding Terezi with a gun to her head.  
I screamed in rage and tried to rush forward, but the officers blocked me.  
“LET HER GO YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!” I howled. “LET HER GO!”  
“Why should I do that rat,” he bellowed. “You ratted us out you traitorous wench. Family does not turn on family.”  
“Isn’t that exactly what you did?!” the rage and despair churning in my stomach was reflected in Terezi’s eyes. Her face was stoic until you reached her eyes. She was thrashing, but Father was stronger than her. I saw her suck in a breath to try and stop herself from crying.  
She was a Pyrope, she wouldn’t cry like this.  
“Drop your weapon!” the officers yelled, all pointing their guns at him.  
“I think not boys,” he sneered.   
“I repeat, drop your weapon!”  
“I think not.”  
He pulled the trigger.  
I screamed bloody murder, shoved past them, and collapsed at Father’s feet, right in next to Terezi’s body.  
“NO!” I cried before rising to my feet and punching Father in the face.  
He stumbled back, lifted his gun, and shot me in the shoulder. As I fell to the ground, the police opened fire on him, successfully killing him.  
I gathered Terezi into my arms, completely ignoring the searing pain in my shoulder. The pain in my chest outran it by miles.  
“NO!” I cried over and over. “This wasn’t supposed to happen!”  
Latula walked in behind me and cried out before falling to her knees next to me.  
I sobbed her name over and over, screaming. The police tried to pull her away, but I wasn’t going to let them take her from me. Father did that for them.  
“No!” I screamed. “You can’t take her from me!”  
Latula put her hand on my good shoulder, “She’s gone Vriska, you are wounded and it needs to be tended to.”  
“I don’t care!” I screamed. “My Terezi is GONE!”   
“I know Serket, my baby sister is gone. But you did all you could, we just didn’t get here fast enough.”  
I wailed and scrambled to grab her when the police took her from me.  
The world was starting to get fuzzy and when Latula tried to get me to stand, I wailed, slumped over, and the world went black.

~====<3====~

I woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed.  
What happened again?  
Suddenly everything rushed back and I screamed bloody murder, tears flooding my eyes. Don’t cry Serket, whatever you do, don’t cry.  
A nurse ran in and hit a button on the IV stand and the world faded out.  
This happened seven more times.  
I woke up for the eighth time, and moaned in pain. My shoulder hurt, but I didn’t care about that. Terezi was dead and it was my fault.  
I choked on a sob. First Tavros, my childhood friend, and now Terezi, the only person I’d ever cared about besides myself. I didn’t care about the mobsters, they had it coming, but these two? They didn’t deserve this.  
A nurse came in and asked how I was doing and I snapped at her to fuck off. I was not in the mood to deal with people’s bullshit. However, when was I ever?  
A police officer came into the room and informed me that Latula was removed from the case due to conflict of interest. I knew it didn’t make a difference. They were going to sentence me to death anyway.  
I was released from the hospital into police custody a week later and placed into Skaia county jail to await trial.  
At my preliminary hearing, I sat at the defendants side like Gamzee had sat all those years ago.  
What I didn’t expect was to be pardoned.  
They said that due to my help and cooperation with the police, I was to be pardoned of my crimes.   
I blinked, this wasn’t what I expected. They released me, and I had Sollux’s dad pick me up and drop me off at home without a word.  
I fell to my knees and cried in my doorway. I don’t cry.  
There obviously had been a struggled, and there was a note on the table, right next to Terezi’s textbooks

Vriska,  
There are some strange figures outside the apartment, so I don’t have much time. I just wanted to say that if they are the ones who killed Tavros I will bring them to justice. If this goes badly, I wanted to tell you that I love you, now and forever, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for as long as I shall live. I hope that I can give you this when this all blows over.  
Love you always,  
Terezi Pyrope.

It wasn’t written in her quirk, which means she had to write fast. I lowered the note to see a small black box sitting on the table. Tears flooded my vision, no.  
I set the note down and opened the box to see a necklace of half a heart sitting upright with another half a heart sitting upside down with her birthstone, sapphire, on the end of the upright half and mine, opal, on the upside down half.  
She knew I hated rings, they got in the way.  
I slowly fell to my knees, guilt rushing over me like a wave as I put it on. I felt sick, and in my mind’s eye I could see her dead body in my arms. The image changed into the image of Tavros slumped over with my knife in his chest.  
I held the charm in my hand and I could almost feel Terezi behind me and could almost hear her telling me to get a hold of myself. Almost.  
I rose to my feet, walked into our- no my- room, crawled into bed, and fell asleep still holding the charm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terezi is my favorite character too.


	7. Vriska: Attend funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally cried writing this chapter.

Chapter 7: Vriska: Attend funeral

I sat in the church once again thanking whatever deity that probably doesn’t exist that it was a closed casket ceremony. Only this time I was alone.  
I sat in the front, but there was no one sitting in the same pew as me. Everyone was avoiding me like the plague. I didn’t blame them, if I could I’d be avoiding myself too.  
Latula came up to speak first, “Terezi was my little sister, and I’ll never, ever forget the little moments where I was proud of her, the big moments when she was happy or sad, whenever she gave me that crazy grin and punched my arm even when she was blind. I’ll never forgive her murderer,” I flinched. “She was so young and would have made such an excellent lawyer, a prosecutor just like Mom. She was so bright, and her future was bright.”  
I felt like I had been punched in the gut. It was my fault she died, I should have taken her with me to the police station, I should have brought her with me!  
Her sister sat down and her mom rose to her feet, looking completely composed just like Latula had. In their line of work, that was necessary. Even at a funeral.  
“Terezi, she had what it took to be in the line of work she desired. She went through so much and she was still recovering from it all. It’s beyond difficult to have to bury one of my children, especially with her being so young and how she died. If it wasn’t for the conflict of interest, I would have every member of that mob face the death penalty,” she sat down and I stood. It was my turn to speak, and I kept my composure.   
No one was going to think I was weak.  
I walked up to the podium and spoke, “I met Terezi in college, and I knew something was different about her. Not because she was blind, but because of how she acted. She didn’t put up with my shit, and she’d give me that crazy grin and hit me with her cane. Which really hurt by the way.  
“She came to me when Gamzee went after her, and before I knew it, I was fully prepared to defend her and even though I was badly injured I didn’t care. I defender her and that’s all that matters. She came to see me in the hospital, and we’ve been together ever since.”  
I gripped the podium with one and the necklace with the other, “I tried my best to help her through her rough times, I tried my best. I even let myself fall back into a bad habit because I cared more about her than I did myself, no one else does, except for her. Yes, I use present tense because in that corny way I believe she’s still with us in a way. I can practically hear her crazy laughter and her saying to me that I need to get a grip when I’m at home.  
“I know this is my fault. I know it is. I had Rufioh take me to the police instead of her. I thought she would be safer at home,” My voice cracked. “When I saw her being held at gunpoint… I couldn’t feel anything but guilt because it was my fault and for that I deeply apologize. I know that means nothing, in fact I will never forgive myself for this. I can’t, and I never will.  
“She left me a note, and when I got home, I found it and this necklace that I wear right now. I will never take it off. She didn’t know what I did, otherwise I’m sure she wouldn’t have written what she said. Even if she would have hated me, even though I know she would have hated me, I still love her more than anything in the world. There isn’t anything I want more than to come home and hug her hello, to kiss her goodnight, to tease her about anything and everything and for her to stick her tongue out at me and laugh her crazy laugh. I’d do anything for her to come back, but she can’t, and for that I can’t forgive myself.”  
I finally lost my composure and a sob escaped my throat. I walked from the podium and sat alone in the back, so I could avoid everyone’s stares, which didn’t work. As I walked back, accusing stares followed me back.  
Guilt was churning in my stomach, I can’t believe I just made myself look weak in front of all of them.   
I didn’t speak of Tavros’ funeral because I know that it would have been a less severe occurrence, but similar all the same, me spilling my guts about how guilty I felt about killing him.  
I may not have pulled the trigger, but I all but handed her to Father.  
Rev. Vantas came up to the podium at the same time someone turned and yelled at me, “Murderer!”  
It was Rufioh.   
I put my head down, he was right after all. Rev. Vantas shooshed him and called out to everyone, “This is a place of peace and love, now let us pray.”  
I clasped my hands, still doubting my belief in a higher power. No loving God would have taken her from me.  
He spoke the same prayer that was at Tavros’ funeral, and read the same passage, but I didn’t hear it. All I could hear was Rufioh yelling, “Murderer!”  
After the prayer we were dismissed for the funeral procession. I helped carry Terezi’s casket to the herse, and left to my car, our car, without a word. No one even tried to speak to me.  
At the burial, before Rev. Vantas said the final prayers, I could hear the whispers of those around us.  
“She was her killer’s daughter.”  
“I heard she was pardoned, even though she killed Tavros, and ten other people. Even if she did help catch the mob, she’s still responsible for Terezi’s death.”  
I heard Karkat snap at the unknown speaker, “Shut up fuckhole, she feels bad enough as it is.”  
I could have hugged him.  
The speaker turned and I discovered it was Sollux, “Shut up Vantas, guilt doesn’t bring any of them back.”  
I thought I was going to be sick.  
Rev. Vantas said another prayer as the casket was lowered. We all walked past it, throwing in a clump of dirt and occasionally flowers.  
I reached her grave and my stomach lurched. I threw in a clump of dirt and a single red rose, red was always her favorite color, and sobbed her name along with, “I’m so sorry,” over and over until I had to walk on. I was the last one to walk through.  
After the funeral, as I walked back to my car, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Karkat.  
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You went to the authorities, that’s the best you could do,” he said quietly.  
I shook my head, “My best wasn’t good enough.”  
I walked away.


	8. Vriska: Dream

Chapter 8: Vriska: Dream

I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. I hadn’t been able to sleep in months, not since Terezi died.  
I worked a meaningless job at a coffee shop as a manager, and I got paid so little I was living off food stamps. My paycheck barely covered the bills, and I didn’t really care if I got evicted or not. This apartment hurt too much to remain anyway.  
But it was all I had left of her. I had a bunch of her pictures that she liked to take, and her sketches that she did in chalk. I also had her necklace that she left me.   
The apartment looked no different, all her stuff was still here, save what her family took. They hadn’t even looked at me when they came to grab some stuff.  
They barely spoke to me now, and they used to treat me like family.  
I didn’t have to work tomorrow, so I could sleep late if I could, but I knew I wouldn’t sleep.  
I stared into the darkness, exhausted. After three hours passed, I finally fell asleep.

_I stood in Father’s office, and it was deserted.  
It was nighttime, I could tell by the lack of light filtering through the blinds.  
“Hey Vriska.”  
I spun around to find a hooded figure in green robes with a strange symbol on her chest.  
“Terezi?” my voice cracked.  
She pulled her head down, revealing her face, “It’s been awhile.”  
I blinked, rubbed my eyes, and blinked again.  
She cackled, like she always did, “It’s me, and while yes this is a dream, you’re in the dreambubbles. This is me, I’m just dead.”  
She removed her glasses to reveal her eyes were pure white. I flinched, it was my fault she’s stuck here.  
She frowned and put her glasses back on, disguising her eyes so they looked red, “You need to get past that, you did everything you could.”  
“It wasn’t enough and now… You’re gone,” my voice broke.   
She shrugged, “It’s not that bad. Oh and Tavros and I saw your trial, we’re glad you were pardoned. Neither of us blame you ya know.”  
My vision blurred and I pulled her into the tightest hug I’ve ever given a person, burying my face in her hair and sobbing pathetically.  
“Hey, hey! Snap out of it! Seriously who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?” she soothed.  
“She’s,” -hic- “Right here.” I hiccuped.   
“Are you that messed up over this?” she asked softly.   
“Yeah, I feel so bad, and that doesn’t even begin to cover it…” I felt safe for the first time in over a year, since before this whole mess started, just having my face buried in her shoulder and to feel her arms around my shoulders, even if I couldn’t feel the right one because of my robotic arm.  
I felt a tap on my left shoulder and I looked up and she flashed her crazy grin, “We don’t blame you okay? Tavros understands that it was either him or you, and while I wish would told me what the hell you were doing and why you kept lying to me, I understand that you were trying to keep me safe. I understand that you wanted to take them down. You brought them to justice, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.”  
I nodded slowly, “I still should have brought you with me to the police station. Then you would have been safe. I didn’t think that he would have had spies watching me. I didn’t think and now you’re dead.”  
She rolled her eyes, “I would have just been pissed at you like I was at first. But I’ve had time to forgive you and that’s why it’s taken all this time to come visit you.”  
I sighed, “I deserve that.”  
She flashed a smile again, “But guess what?” I raised an eyebrow and she continued. “I can come see you now! You can see Tavros too!”   
I smiled a little bit, “That’ll be the highlight of my day.”  
She stuck her tongue out at me, “Hell yeah!” ___


	9. Vriska: See Karkat

Chapter 9: Vriska: See Karkat

_I threw a metaphysical pillow at Terezi, laughing until her glasses were knocked askew and I could see her empty white eyes. I choked on my laugh, making probably one of the saddest sounds I’ve heard in awhile._  
 _“I’m rolling my eyes Serket. Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean you have to be upset every time you see my eyes.”_  
 _I sighed, “I still blame myself you know._ ” _“I know, but, do you know what day today is?”_  
 _“October 30th?”_  
 _“Nope!” she fixed her glasses and smiled wide, “It’s officially October 31st! Happy birthday you dork.”_  
 _I blinked, “So you’re telling me… that I’m 24 now?” That was a multiple of 8, I liked it._  
 _“Yep!” she tackled me and pinned me to the bed. She stuck her tongue out at me before lowering her head to kiss my neck._  
 _Wasn’t as good as physically doing it, but this was the next best thing._

 

I woke up the next morning with an ache in my abdomen that would fade as I got up and went about my day. Ever since Terezi had started coming to see me in my dreams, I was almost back to my normal, bitchy self.  
Almost.  
I still didn’t talk to anyone. I was on my own, but in a way I preferred it that way. That way no one got in my way.  
I went to work like I did every day, making sure the owner’s lackeys, myself included, did their work and all that fun mediocrity. It was a pathetic job, but with my criminal background, I couldn’t do anything with my degree. So I was pretty much stuck.  
I was cleaning the counter from the customer side when I felt an impatient tap on my shoulder. I was about to snap at whoever it was when I remembered I was at work and couldn’t do that, so instead I turned around silently to find no other than Karkat Vantas standing there.  
“Oh,” I managed to say. Serket stop looking like an idiot. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Vantas.”  
He nodded, “It has been awhile. I stopped by to get some coffee on the way to work and I saw you here. How long have you been here?”  
“Since before…” The entire mess with the mob started.  
He nodded again, “No need to say, I know what you mean. See I’m not a total jackass all the time.”  
I snorted, “I’ve known you since high school Karkat I think I know this by now.”  
He smirked faintly, “How have you been?”  
I shrugged stiffly, “Fine.”  
The way his head barely tilted, he had noticed, but he didn’t mention it. Instead he pulled a card out of his pocket, “Here, I highly doubt anyone talks to you much anymore and my friend Dave is having a party. Why don’t you come to it?”  
I grabbed the card and looked at it, it was a block party not too far from where Nepeta and Equius live in Skaia. Confusion hit me suddenly, “Karkat why the hell are you in Prospit anyway? You live in Skaia.”  
He shrugged, “I work out here sometimes. Anyway, Dave’s cool, he knows everything and he doesn’t really give a damn about really anything.”  
I nodded slowly before asking quietly, “Are Nepeta and Equius going to be there?”  
He shrugged, “I have no idea what those two will be up to. Did you know that Nepeta is expecting?”  
My jaw dropped, “No! They don’t talk to me anymore. Nepeta is tiny though!”  
Karkat snickered, “That’s exactly what I had said.”  
I shrugged, “I’ll give the party some thought.”  
He nodded, “Can I order some coffee now Serket?”  
I snorted, “Yeah Vantas, you can.”  
He ordered his coffee and left. I closed that night, worked a double shift, and I was walking home at ten thirty at night when I started hearing footsteps behind me.  
Shit.  
I spun around with my fist up and my knife out. I knew better than to walk home in the dark unarmed for this type of occasion specifically.  
“Come oooooooon you coward!” I hissed. “I don’t have all night.”  
I saw saw a dark figure rush out from the alley not more than five feet in front of me and I rushed forward to try and attack the figure when I found myself at gunpoint, the figure holding a gun to my head.  
He held up a finger to his sewn shut lips and smiled sadistically. My brain scrambled to remember this guys name, for I’ve seen him before. It took me almost thirty seconds for my scrambled brain to remember.  
Kurloz Makara, Gamzee Makara’s older brother.  
I heard some more footsteps behind me, heavier than the scrawny Makara in front of me. I heard a low chuckle, “Hello motherfucker. It’s taken us awhile to all up and track you down after all this time.”  
The Grand Highblood, I’ve heard his voice before between deals with Father.  
“What do you want, mob scum,” I growled.  
“That’s pretty motherfuckin’ rude for someone being held at gunpoint,” he chuckled.  
I rolled my eyes, “Do you hoooooooonestly think I care?”  
“Kurloz, you know what to do.”  
Next thing I knew I was being pistol whipped and the world went black.

~====<3====~

When I woke up, the side of my head was throbbing and I could feel blood trickled out of a wound on the side of my head. Ouch.  
I was in a small room with concrete floors and walls. There were no windows and only one fluorescent light on the ceiling.  
I sat up, immediately regretting it when the room spun around me. I swear I’ve had so much brain damage in the last few years from concussions that I’m going to end up dead.  
That is, if they don’t kill me or something first.  
There was a bucket in the corner for what I assumed was a makeshift toilet, and there was a flat with a blanket thrown over it. They intended to keep me here for awhile.  
Greeeeeeeeat.  
I sat there for what felt like hours, trying to stop the room from spinning. I didn’t bother trying to stand, I knew I would just fall back over. I had had enough concussions to know that much.  
I looked around once the spinning started to slow. There was a single metal door that had bars over the only window. Was I in a solitary confinement cell or something?  
No, I was pardoned, I couldn’t be in prison again. That was double jeopardy, therefore illegal.  
I remember Terezi talking about that once.  
I stared at the door for what felt like another century. Whatever they planned to do with me, they better get this over with.  
I was so bored that I almost felt like slamming my head against the wall so I had enough brain damage to be unaware of what was going on.  
Almost.  
I laid back on my back. If they were trying to bore me to death then it was working.  
After a millennia of boring time passed, the door swung open.  
I sat upright, bored, “It’s about time you showed your face Grand Highblood, I was about to die of boredom here.”  
The Grand Highblood stood at probably 6 and a half feet tall, had a lot of curly black hair, and an insane expression. He was frowning at me, but he had a look in his eyes that said he would kill me without a second thought.  
Yay me.  
He stepped forward and shut the door behind him, “Do you realize why you are here Serket?”  
“Because of my dashing good looks?”  
He narrowed his eyes, “Being a smart ass isn’t going to motherfucking help you. Now answer the motherfucking question.”  
“I just did dumbass.”  
He pulled a juggling pin off his back and slammed it against my robotic arm with a crunch, rendering it useless.  
Shit!  
I tried to move my left arm, it wasn’t working. Instead of letting my panic show, I smirke instead, “I can still kick your ass with one arm, I hope you know this.”  
“Give it a shot motherfucker, I’d like to see you all up and try.”  
I rose to my feet. This was probably going to end up in me being even more injured, but pride wouldn’t let me back down.  
I rushed forward and attempted to roundhouse kick him in the stomach, but he slammed his pin just above my ankle. I gritted my teeth to avoid screaming, cause oh my God that hurt. I swear I felt a crack, but out of the pain I wasn’t sure.  
I swear if he just broke my leg….  
I managed to stumbled back, evidently my leg was not broken if I could put pressure on it. He started toward me again, about to swing his pin again, when I ducked under his arm and punched him in the stomach with my right arm. I was smaller than him by a long shot, shorter by at least 8 inches, and a lot thinner. There was nothing good about purging, except in this instance when I could move faster than The Grand Highblood.  
He gasped for air for a second and I roundhouse kicked him in the chest. He staggered back and I spun and kicked him again.  
“Enough!” he bellowed as he slammed the pin into my side.  
That time I knew I felt a crack. More like three.  
I slammed onto the floor with a cry of pain. That wasn’t supposed to happen, not in the slightest.  
He snorted, “Are you done motherfucking playing now?”  
I groaned in pain, “You win this round fucker, but mark my words, I’ll have your head on a stake.”


	10. Vriska: Be tortured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the trigger warnings for this chapter, all of them. Literally this chapter gets pretty gruesome. I turn Kurloz into a monster, it’s pretty bad. This was so hard to write. I’m a terrible person.

Chapter 10: Vriska: Be tortured

The Grand Highblood left and awhile later Aranea came in with a first aid kit in hand.  
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I spat at her.  
“About to fix you up so you don’t die,” she spat back.  
I growled at her as she walked over and pulled me upright. She bandaged my head, which had stopped bleeding a while ago, tightly wrapped my ribs, which I had broken three, and assured me that I hadn’t punctured a lung, to which I snapped, “If I had punctured a lung I would be dead right now!”  
“Why are you so pissed at me sister?” she said smoothly.  
“Because you’re working for these fuckers! Do you have no sense of family?”  
“Says the one who betrayed Father, Cronus, Eridan, and I.”  
That shut me up.  
She left me alone in the small concrete room. I was sitting in there for probably an hour before Kurloz walked in, pistol in hand. I could tell by the blood splatter on it that he hadn't cleaned it. That was just poor gunmanship.  
He walked over and grabbed me by my useless robotic arm, held the gun to my head, and pulled me upright. I groaned from the pain in my side, which felt like someone had set fire to my ribs, and followed him out.  
We walked down a hallway with concrete walls and floors. I was right, I was in a prison. It was probably the abandoned prison on the outskirts of town.  
He dragged me down the hall, to the left, down that hall, and into a room with a chair in the middle. It was the execution chamber.  
Shit.  
He dragged me over and strapped me to the chair. He put this pistol in its holster on his belt, and turned to me. He held a finger to his lips and smiled, Quiet.  
I glared at him.  
I looked around. The walls were concrete, but painted red. There was a broken camera in the corner, looks like someone punched it.  
I turned my head back to Kruloz, who promptly pistol whipped me again. My head snapped to the side and I spat blood from where I bit my tongue. Talk about ow.  
I turned my head back at him. He had a sadistic smile on his face, and he signed something. Meulin taught me sign language, what did he say…  
“I’m going to make you wish you were dead.”  
“Great, thanks Kurloz. Wouldn’t that render your threats of holding a gun to my head ineffective?”  
He smiled wider and grabbed his gun. He then promptly decided to shoot me in the foot. I howled in pain, he hit me just where my ankle met my foot.  
He put his gun back in the holster, still smiling. He was seriously starting to creep me out.  
He walked up to me and dragged his fingers along my face and to my neck.  
Oh hell no.  
I spat on his face and attempted to thrash around, but the restraints just above my ankles, my thighs, just above my wrists, and my forearms prevented me from moving a lot. I slammed my forehead against his and he staggered back, rubbing his forehead. He frowned, looking irritated. He it something on the bottom of the chair and it slowly leaned back so I was laying down.  
Oh hell no.  
I lifted my head and spat on him again. He growled from behind his sewn shut mouth. He climbed on to the chair/table and glowered down at me, his hand over my mouth before I could spit at him again.  
It was probably best if I didn’t do that anymore, but I was furious and didn’t have much else I could do.  
I tried to bite his hand but his fingers were bent so I couldn’t. He dragged his fingers down along my shirt until he got to the hem of my shirt. His fingers were cold as he slipped them under it.  
I howled in rage but it was muffled by his hand. I had to get out of here, I had to get out of here.  
His fingers were cold as he pulled his other hand down to undo my bloodied jeans. Injuries were a bitch. I spat at him again but once he had those pulled down, his hand was on my mouth again.  
He was smirking, and it was disgusting. I was so disgusted.  
He slid his hand farther down and my back arched as I screamed, “THOSE DO NOT GO THERE YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK!”  
I blacked out and woke up in the room I had when I first got here.

~====<3====~

This happened three more times, all within a few hours of each other. Each time he went farther and farther, and my voice was hoarse from screaming.  
After the last time I finally was able to fall into a deep enough sleep for Terezi to visit me.

_The dream started with me on my knees, staring off into the distance. Terezi ran toward me from from the door of my cell, and fell to her knees in front of me, “Vriska? Can you hear me?”_  
 _I nodded slowly. My head was full of terrible images and feelings that I couldn’t get off my skin._  
 _I didn’t realize I had my nails dug into my skin until Terezi pried them out of it. She held my hands tightly as I suddenly started screaming and sobbing. She rested her forehead against mine, trying to shoosh me. I kept screaming._  
 _I finally stopped when her eyes widened and she covered my mouth with her hand, “Shoosh, you’re screaming outside of here too. If you do they’ll wake you up, and I need to tell you how to get out.”_  
 _“How?” I choked._  
 _“When Kurloz comes to get you next, do whatever it takes for you to knock him out. Grab his keys and run. Take the first right, take the second flight of stairs, turn left and run until you get to the double doors. From there, run down the road as fast as you can. There’ s a police station about a mile away down that road.”_  
 _I nodded slowly, “My leg will surely give out…”_  
 _She shook her head, “It’s not broken, you’ll be fine okay? You need to get out of here. If this continues, they’re going to kill you.”_  
 _I nodded, “I know, trust me I know.”_


	11. Vriska: Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome once again to the realm of I had to research most of this on google! Well, the later part of the chapter anyway. I’m sure anyone can write someone getting their ass handed to them.

Chapter 11: Vriska: Escape

 

Kurloz woke me up as soon as the words left my mouth.  
I rose to my feet, took two step toward him, and managed to roundhouse kick the gun out of his hand. I followed up with a punch to the face. He staggered against the door and I pinned him there with my robotic shoulder and punched him until his eyes rolled back and he passed out.  
For extra measure I ripped the stitches out of his mouth. Blood poured everywhere but I didn’t care. This fucker deserved to die.  
I frisked him for a knife, and found one.  
Adios fucker.  
I stabbed him in the chest eight times before wiping it down for prints and putting the blade in his hand.  
I grabbed his keys out of his pocket and ran down the hallway. I followed Terezi’s instructions precisely and ran to the door on the first floor. I had been in the basement the entire time.  
I unlocked the door and stepped out, shutting it behind me before running like the hounds of hell were after me.  
I reached the police station in under a half hour, which was great considering there was a hole in my foot.  
I collapsed at the door, screaming for help, and pounded on the door from my knees. Two officers were outside in almost an instant, swinging the doors open and kneeling in front of me, “What’s going on ma’am? Are you alright?”  
I looked up at them, “No! I just escaped from the abandoned prison not a mile from here, the Makara family were holding me captive! I need help! I was beaten, raped, and held in a room without food or water for over a day!”  
The first officer reassured me that everything was going to be fine while the other radioed in for backup as he ran to his squad car. The first officer helped me to my feet while radioing in for an ambulance.  
Minutes later one was coming into the parking lot. They strapped me down to a gurney and took me away.

~====<3====~

After the rape examination, they determined that I had indeed been raped by Kurloz Makara.  
Like I hadn’t know that.  
They also determined that I had a concussion, three broken ribs, a hairline fracture in my left leg, a broken bone in my left foot, and that I needed a new robotic arm.  
They called in Equius for the arm, and hooked me up to a morphine drip and made me take sedatives every time they had to come in while I was screaming in my sleep.  
The police questioned me about what happened, and why Kurloz was dead in my cell.  
I explained to them slowly that if I didn’t kill him, then he just would have done as he pleased once again or would have shot me and I couldn’t let that happen. It was self defense and that was that.  
The state decided not to press charges.  
Equius came in a few days later, alone. He simply detached the broken arm and attached the new one before leaving without a word. Good to know I still didn’t have friends.  
Well, besides Karkat, who came in the following day.  
“Jegus Christ Vriska! What the hell did you get into after work?” he asked. “A wrestling match with a fucking bear?”  
I shook my head and explained what happened. His face went from shocked to furious within seconds, “First Gamzee with Terezi and then Kurloz with you. What the fucking hell is wrong with that family?”  
I shrugged, “I have no idea Karkat, I have no idea.”  
They released me later that day, Karkat took me home.  
He dropped me off, telling me to call him if I needed anything in his irritated voice that he always seemed to have, and I walked into the house.  
Weeks went by until I noticed something was off.  
I was drained, when I was released back to work it dragged on for what felt like years. I started having flashbacks. Now I knew what Terezi went through.  
They hadn’t caught The Grand Highblood yet, but they were on the lookout for him.  
This particular morning, I woke up incredibly nauseous. Did I eat something bad? I got up, managed to make it to the restroom before vomiting.  
After that I managed to brush my teeth and drag myself back to my room where I called into work and went back to sleep.  
This happened for the next week.  
I called work and my boss answered, “Um Vriska,” she said. “I think you might want to see a doctor at this point. If you’re still sick like this, either you’re pregnant or you’ve got a seriously disease or something.”  
I felt my blood turn to ice. I agreed with her and hung up. I decided that if I didn’t feel any better after I took a nap, I’d call the doctor.  
I already knew I was going to end up in the doctor’s office today.  
I fell asleep, and woke up in the dreambubbles.

_I sat up in the bed that Terezi and I used to share, and looked around. Terezi was holding her head in her hands at the desk chair on the other side of the room._  
 _“Terezi, what’s wrong?” I asked slowly._  
 _She shook her head, “You already know. You know it in your bones, but you don’t want it to be true.”_  
 _I paled, she was right. I wasn’t going to think it, cause thinking it might make it real. But I knew it was already real. I knew it when I first starting getting sick. The fact I felt so drained, the fact that I was sick in the first place._  
 _“Oh my God,” I curled into a ball. “No, no, no, no, no!”_  
 _She got up and walked over, sitting by me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and I wailed, “NO!”_  
 _She shooshed me, “You’ll be okay, you’ll be okay.”_  
 _“No I won’t!” I wailed. “Are you out of your mind?”_  
 _“Yes I am, but I know you’ll be fine. This is going to be miserable, but you’ll be okay.”_

I woke up curled in a ball on my side. I had to call the doctor and get one of those-  
Nope, not going to think about that.  
I silently thanked this godless dimension that I was in that I had killed Kurloz while I had the chance.  
I drove to the doctors and explained that I needed to see him, now. They had me fill out a clipboard full of paperwork before my doctor brought me back.  
“What seems to be the problem Miss Serket?” she asked, turned around so she could was her hands.  
“I… uh… well…” I scratched the back of my head. “I got raped about a month ago, and I’m starting to have…. issues.” Why was this so hard to say? I never had problems saying anything, but the shame that was corroding my insides was making even speaking difficult.  
The doctor turned around, “What kind of ‘issues’ are you speaking of Vriska?”  
“I’m so tired all the time it’s not even funny, I’m almost constantly nauseous… I end up throwing up at least twice a day.”  
She nodded and dug through the drawer for a small box, “Here, go use the restroom. Do you know how to take a pregnancy test?”  
“I have a vague idea, I dated a girl for the last several years so I never had to worry about it.”  
 _Well I did date a girl, she’s gone now… That was my fault._  
I could practically feel Terezi smacking me upside the head at that thought.  
She nodded and explained how to go about it. I trudged to the bathroom and took it. Afterward I walked back into the office, exhaustion and depression dragging at my limbs. Would this be so difficult if Terezi was here instead of being here all by myself?  
I shook my head to clear it. No, it would still be difficult. I just have to deal with it.  
I handed the doctor the test and sat back on the examination chair/table thing. I got hit by a bad flashback and managed to play it off as stress by bringing my knees to my chest and burying my face in my knees.  
She watched the test, or at least that’s what she had been doing when I put my head down, until it came to a result.  
“Vriska?”  
I looked up.  
“I’m sorry, but your suspicions were correct.”  
 _SHIT._  
I stared at her for a moment before blinking to try and keep myself composed. This can _not_ be happening right now. This just can’t be happening.


	12. Vriska: Reunite with Nepeta and Equius

Chapter 12: Vriska: Reunite with Nepeta and Equius

 

My time was flurry of doctors appointments and trying to spend as much time asleep as possible when I wasn’t working or at the doctor’s office. If I couldn’t be with Terezi physically, I would be with her in my dreams.  
She was trying her best to be there for me, it was just difficult with me being hormonal and pissed off at the fact that this was even happening.  
She hesitantly suggested I terminated it, but I told her that while I didn’t care if other people did it, it’s not my damn business, I wasn’t going to do it. I couldn’t  
That didn’t mean I was going to keep it either.  
Or was I?  
I was furious three fourths of the time, and depressed the other fourth of the time. The only person who even tried to help me out a bit was Karkat, and that was only because he was my only friend now. Everyone else hated me for what happened to Terezi and Tavros, not that I blamed them.  
Or at least, that’s what I thought until I heard a knock on the door while I was curled up on the couch watching a show on pirates.  
I got up and answered the door. It was Nepeta and Equius.  
The first thing I did was blink at least twenty times. Nepeta was getting huge, she had to be at least seven months along if not eight. Equius was stoic as always, and Nepeta smiled at me, “Hi Vriskers!”  
I blinked again, “Um, hi guys. Did you want to come in?”  
Nepeta nodded eagerly and I stepped to the side to let them in, “What brings you guys all the way out here?”  
Nepeta’s smile fell from her face, “Equius told me what happened, and after at least two months of prodding I managed to get him to take me out here to see how you were doing. I’m so sorry I haven’t come to visit sooner.”  
She shifted uncomfortably and I nodded, “It’s fine, thank you for coming actually. I was expecting Karkat to be here soon actually. You guys took me by surprise.”  
She walked over and hugged me, which was new for me, “I’m sorry that this happened Vriskers. I’m sorry that Terezi is gone too, you two were purrfect for each other. I don’t blame you anymore, you tried your best.”  
I turned my head up and stared at the ceiling, blinking furiously. Stupid hormones, stop making me cry all the time.  
Nepeta looked up and I looked down, the shorter girl was crying herself and she let go, “I’m sure she doesn’t blame you either.”  
She didn’t know the half of it.  
I nodded, “That’s what I like to think. If she had still had her cane she would have smacked me upside the head with it and would have told me to stop wallowing in guilt.”  
Why was I telling her this?  
She nodded and smiled at me, drying her eyes at the same time, “She probably would. Now, do mew want to go get food? We’ve got money don’t worry.”  
I shrugged, suddenly starving, “I’m expecting Karkat to get here soon…”  
“Then why don’t all four of us go?”  
I nodded, “That sounds like a plan.”

~====<3====~

We all went and to get food and Equius had a good job with robotics so he paid for it. We all ended up at Terezi and I’s- er my- apartment sitting around the living room joking about stuff.  
Pleased that I was able to keep food down for more than an hour, I laid on one part of the L shaped couch, Equius sat on the corner with Nepeta laying down with her head in his lap, and Karkat was kicked back in the recliner that Terezi had insisted we got despite our huge couch that we got so we could possibly sleep on for the hell of it sometimes.  
I turned my head to see Nepeta had turned her head and was giving a small smile, “How are mew recovering from everything?”  
I shrugged, “My physical wounds are healed for the most part, my ribs are still healing though.”  
Karkat fidgeted uncomfortably in the recliner. He must not have told them yet. Nepeta did say she got the information about what happened from Equius, and I hadn’t talked to him in the last two months since I found out…  
She smiled a little wider, “That’s good! Well, I hope your ribs heal quickly.”  
I laughed nervously, “Well, about that…”  
She tilted her head, “”What? Did something happen?”  
I fidgeted with my hands, “Well, you know what happened with Kurloz right?”  
She nodded, her eyes widening with understanding, “You’re not telling me that…”  
“Yeah, it turned into a bigger problem.”  
She got up as I sat up and she hugged me. She had never hugged me before today, something to do with always being afraid of me. It was just this sad that this had happened.  
“How far along?”  
“Three months.”  
She nodded and let go, frowning, “I’m so sorry Vriskers. Do you know if you’re going to keep it yet?”  
I shook my head, “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”  
She nodded and Equius turned his head, slight shock on his face, “My deepest apologies Miss Serket.”  
I shrugged, “Not much I can do about it. I just have to figure out what the hell I’m going to do.”  
Karkat fidgeted with his hands, “I still suggest not keeping it for your own emotional health. It’s gonna have some resemblance to Kurloz…”  
“I don’t want to damn it to foster care either. So I’m pretty much screwed.”  
Nepeta thought for a second, “What if you let someone you know adopt it?” Her gaze traveled to Karkat who threw his hands up, “Just because Kanaya can’t have kids doesn’t mean I want to raise the fucking spawn of the Makaras.”  
“Come on Karkitty, talk it over with Kanaya and see what she thinks.”  
He sighed, “Fine, I’ll talk it over with her. Maybe she’ll know someone who’ll want to take it.”  
I mouthed a thank you to him and laid my head back down.  
At least I had my friends back.


	13. Vriska: Talk to Kanaya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think Karkat would make a good auspistice, just my thought.

Chapter 13: Vriska: Talk to Kanaya

 

Karkat drove me to his house about a week later where his wife was sewing together some new outfit. She hated to buy clothing, she elected to sew together her own which led to extravagant outfits that I could never wear even if I wanted to.  
I followed him into the house and Kanaya looked up from her sewing machine. She smiled politely at me. Karkat warned me in advance that she still blamed me for Terezi dying, even after having witnessed me trying to save Terezi’s life against Gamzee.  
It’s okay though, I still blame me too.  
She rose to her feet and walked over, bowing her head a little, “Serket, it’s a pleasure.”  
I nodded, “Hello Kanaya.”  
She gestured me to go into the living room while Karkat went to go use the restroom. I walked over and sat down, nauseous.  
Like that wasn’t a common thing anymore.  
She sat on the other side of the couch, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. I sighed, it’s not like I wasn’t used to that anymore either.  
She tilted her head, “So I was told what happened. Why did you want to just hand off it to us again?”  
“Him actually, found out the gender yesterday,” I said slowly. “And I can’t take care of him myself for one, for another would you expect anyone to want to care for the product of your captor’s decision to rape you 4 times?”  
She flinched just enough for me to notice, “Well, no, but would you expect me to want to take care of the spawn of a rapist and a murderer?”  
It was my turn to flinch. I stared at my hands, guilt washing over me like a wave. Karkat walked in and sat between Kanaya and I, looking over at her, “You know I’ve told you this before, Terezi’s death wasn’t her fault. Just like Eridan’s wasn’t yours.”  
Kanaya hissed at him to shut up and I blinked, “What now? If you killed my brother I’m going to be so proud of you Maryam. I didn’t know you had it in you.”  
She glared at me, “He attacked me, stabbed me in the stomach, and tried to leave me for dead. I grabbed the switchblade I carry with me at night for this very reason and sliced his stomach open from one end to the other.”  
“And you’re calling me a murderer.”  
“I didn’t mean to kill him no, but I at least respect that it’s my responsibility he died. I lost my ability to bear my own kids as my punishment.”  
“I know it’s my fault Kanaya, trust me I know. And having to live without her, completely alone, for the rest of my life is my punishment. That and being kidnapped and raped. That’s a clear punishment as well.”  
She nodded slowly, “I’m glad we’re on the same page then.”  
Karkat groaned, “Instead of talking about death, why don’t we talk about what I brought her here to talk about?”  
Kanaya nodded slowly, her eyes not leaving mine, “Convince me Serket on why we should have to take on the burden of your child.”  
I flinched more visibly this time, “I refuse to call him mine. I refuse to. He is a product of Kurloz, I am merely the vessel that is carrying him.” I grimaced at the thought. I was still in a state of denial after 3 months.  
She nodded slowly and I continued, “I’m not going to beg you to take him. I’m just giving you the opportunity to take him so I don’t have to put him in a foster home.”  
She nodded slowly again, “He’s a child I did not carry, why should I care what happens to him?”  
“Because I know you’re the most motherly person I know and I know you wouldn’t damn a child to grow up in a abuse ridden foster home?”  
“Even though you’re a heartless bitch, I can’t see you damning one to grow up in a similar environment that you were.”  
“I’m not secretly in a mob and I couldn’t hit a kid if I wanted to.”  
“But you were secretly in a mob. How do I know that you aren’t secretly in one now?”  
I glared at her, “Do you think I’m going to go back into that business after what happened to Terezi? After what just happened to me?”  
“Both of those things were your fault.”  
“With Terezi yes, with Kurloz no. I can’t even believe you of all people would victim blame. I thought you were nicer than that Maryam.”  
Kanaya was pretty good at avoiding my bullshit, she was hard to manipulate sometimes and that was exactly what I was going to have to do in order for this to work.  
I pouted and she rolled her eyes, “Vriska you are 25 years old, aren’t you a little old for that?”  
I snorted, “You sound like Terezi’s mom. How is she by the way? She won’t talk to me.”  
“Oh I wonder why Serket!?”  
Karkat threw up his hands to hold them between the two of us, “Enough! Both of you! I get it, Vriska you feel like you have no other options and Kanaya you don’t like her. I think that much is obvious. While I don’t want to deal with all this bullshit that adoption comes with, I don’t want to damn it to foster care either. Equius and his brother grew up in foster care remember? You know how quiet Equius is and how fucking weird his brother is! Kanaya, would you damn someone to that? Vriska could you actually take responsibility for your life instead of pushing it onto everyone else for a change? Is there any way you could actually financially take care of him?”  
Both of us fell silent for a moment before I spoke, “I can barely take care of myself Karkat. I’m on food stamps as is. Being a manager doesn’t pay much and I absolutely refuse to move into a smaller apartment. I refuse to move period.”  
Kanaya stared holes into my face, “And if you have to?”  
“I refuse. I’ll die in that apartment before I’ll move.”


	14. Vriska: Have flashbacks

Chapter 14: Vriska: Have flashbacks

Karkat dropped me off soon after, telling me that they’ll think about it.  
I walked up to the front door, turned, and watched him drive off before an image flooded my vision. It was of the last time I saw Terezi not at gunpoint, when she was telling me goodbye and to have a good day at work. How I held her in my arms while I kissed her, not knowing that it would be the last time I ever got the chance to physically hold her.  
l leaned against the door, my keys still in my hands. No, I was done crying about it. I told myself I was done. Was it wrong of me to say I was weak for crying over the death of the one that meant the most to me after a year and a half?  
She had died in June, it was now February. I did some calculating and discovered that the spawn that was developing was going to be a Leo, same as Nepeta, who was due to have her daughter at the end of the month. Was due to be a Pisces.  
I don’t even know why that came to mind.  
I held my stomach with one hand, and pounded on my own door with the other. Why did this have to happen?  
After pounding on my own door like a maniac for a bit, I unlocked the door and went inside. I dropped my backpack on the chair and stormed up into my room. I laid down and curled into a ball.   
Then the images playing across my vision were of Kurloz.  
I screamed, “ _STOP IT! I DON’T WANT TO SEE THIS ANYMORE!_ ”  
But it didn’t stop.  
My doctor told me I needed to stop binging and purging not only for my sake but because my body, and the spawn as I like to call it, needed the nutrients.  
At this particular moment, I didn’t care.  
I got out of bed and ate literally chips, ice cream, two grilled cheese sandwiches, a peanut butter sandwich, a piece of leftover pizza and then some more ice cream.   
Immediately afterward, I went up in to the bathroom and threw it all up. Terezi was going to give me hell about it when I went to sleep, but at the current moment I didn’t care.  
Anything to make the images go away.

_I woke up in the dreambubbles curled in a ball on my bed. Terezi was curled up at my back with one arm around my stomach and the other hand tracing circles on my shoulder blade. She was never asleep when I woke up here._  
 _The image of my room faded as I blinked myself awake and we found ourselves in my cell. I screamed and curled into a ball, this place was a place of terror now. I made it seem like I wasn’t afraid of anything my whole life, but at least I can voice that I was scared around Terezi, who was holding onto me and trying to get me to calm down._  
 _“Shhhh Vriska, it’s just a memory. There’s no one here but us,” she soothed._  
 _I let go of my head, rolled over, and clung to her for dear life, “Why are we here? Why are we not back at the apartment?”_  
 _“Because this place is the most prominent place in your mind right now, you keep thinking back to here.”_  
 _I looked up at her and she used her sleeve to dry off my face, “You’ll be okay. Now, tell me, why are you so scared all the time now? That’s not like you at all.”_  
 _I shrugged a bit, “You try carrying the spawn of your rapist, you’d be scared too.”_  
 _She flinched and I immediately regretted what I said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”_  
 _She nodded, “I know you didn’t.” She kept tracing circles on my shoulder blades, trying to get me to calm down._  
 _“I’m a scared, hormonal wreck I’m sorry Terezi…”_  
 _She shook her head, “It’s okay Vriska, and yes you are hormonal I can tell because you’re actually apologizing for something besides me dying.”_  
 _It was my turn to flinch and she nudged the back of my head with her nose, “Shhh, I’m just trying to poke fun with you.”_  
 _I nodded, “Sorry, I’m just uneasy ‘cause of our surroundings right now.”_  
 _Terezi pulled me upright and rested her head on my shoulder, “Think of home, and you’ll go back there.”_  
 _I took several deep breaths and thought of home, and sure enough after a few moments of me panicking we ended up back in my- our- room, curled up under blankets where it was warm._  
 _She held me in her arms as I turned over and screamed into the pillow over and over again._

I woke up in the same position I had been in in the dreambubble, face in my pillow with the ghost of a scream on my tongue. I turned my head and checked my phone, it was only 2AM. I had gone to bed around 10.


	15. Vriska: Make peace with yourself

Chapter 15: Vriska: Make peace with yourself

Two more weeks to go. Two more weeks and I’d be free from this bullshit.  
I sat awkwardly in Karkat’s car, who had taken it upon himself to drive me to and from the doctor’s because I wasn’t allowed to drive right now. I appreciated it greatly, seeing as I just wanted this to be over with.  
He dropped me off, telling me to contact him if I needed anything, sounding irritated like he always did. I ate two sandwiches and laid down. It was six at night, but I was beyond tired.  
Sleep didn’t come for me though.  
I found myself thinking back to when Terezi was alive, how she’d probably be curled up around me and I’d be out like a light. Something about her presence was always comforting.  
I curled up in a ball as best I could, curling up too tight hurt, and I once again felt guilt for her passing.  
I was sick of feeling like this.  
I sighed, she would probably whap me upside the head for thinking like this. She has before in my dreams.  
She keeps telling me that it’s not my fault, but it is my fault.   
A small voice in the back of my head snapped, “It is not your fault! It was your father’s!”  
I opened my eyes and stared at the wall. That’s what Terezi has been trying to tell me since she started to come visit me all that time ago. I could never believe it, I just couldn’t.  
I didn’t act in her best interest, only mine. Which wasn’t shocking seeing as it was me after all.   
But with her I always acted in her best interest, or tried to anyway.  
“But you did act in her best interest, you tried to keep it from her to keep her safe,” the traitorous thoughts continued.  
If I had been thinking in her best interest then I would have brought her with me.  
“No, you wanted to keep her at home where you thought she would be safe.”  
I sighed, I guess these traitorous thoughts were right. However, the other thing that was my fault was the death of Tavros, that I was directly responsible for.  
“It was either you or him, and self preservation is good, even if the deed is not.”  
I rolled onto my other side. I guess that was right.   
However if I hadn’t tried to take down the mob myself, then none of this would have ever happened.  
“But if you hadn’t, there would still be a deadly mob running the streets. Plus, if you hadn’t joined they most likely would have killed you, and Terezi.”  
That, was true. However if I hadn’t done it, this shit with Kurloz wouldn’t have happened either.  
“Shaming yourself for what happened to you isn’t the answer either.”  
I stared at the wall. Terezi used to do that to herself almost daily, and I used to tell her the same exact thing.   
I sighed, these thoughts were right. None of this was my fault. I tried my best, and while my best wasn’t good enough, I still tried to do what I thought was right. What the Makara clan did was not my fault in the slightest either.  
I smiled slightly to myself, feeling at peace for the first time in years, and fell asleep.  
I couldn’t wait to tell Terezi this.

~====<3====~

I woke up a week later after practically rolling off the bed laughing in my dreams with Terezi, curled in a ball with pain emanating from my stomach.  
Shit.  
24 hours later, I was offered to hold the spawn of my rapist, and I told them to get him out of my sight.  
I know the child didn’t do anything to me, but he shouldn’t have existed in the first place. I knew for a fact I wouldn’t be able to care for him without hating him.   
I at least had the decency to address him as a him and not an it.  
But I didn’t name him, I refused to name him. That would be claiming ownership of him, and he was not mine.  
They sent me home two days later, and I was off work for another three weeks.  
I was exhausted, so I spent most of my time asleep. Karkat along with Nepeta and Equius stopped by here and there with their daughter. After they noticed my visible discomfort with being around her so soon after Spawn was born, Nepeta ended up coming over by herself while Equius watched over Luna at home.  
I guess I felt a little guilty for abandoning Spawn, but I wouldn’t be able to care for him. I guess that even though I was putting myself first, I was giving him up to live with people who would love him instead of hating his entire existence.  
He shouldn’t have existed, but since he did he was still a human being.  
I turned over in my bed. It was the night before I went back to work. I took a deep breath, and exhaled. It was over, it was all over.  
Or was it?

Two years later, I ran into the Spawn.  
His name was Joel.   
He was adopted by a gay couple, named John and Dave. He looked like Kurloz, but with my eyes and my hair. Instead of being wildly curly, it was decently long and wavy. For a guy anyway.  
John introduced himself before pulling me away to tell me that he knew what happened and he was deeply sorry. However, he also thanked me for giving him and his husband their child, even if he wasn’t supposed to exist.  
I explained to him about Terezi, and he apologized again for my loss. He didn’t blame me or anything.  
I thought for a moment that I had finally met a new friend, one that never blamed me for Terezi’s death.  
He also liked Nic Cage, which was a bonus.  
They introduced me to Joel as his mom, and his face lit up and he tackled me. A two year old, tackling me? What?  
I was so confused and I didn’t know what to do.  
I mean I had been around Luna, Nepeta and Equius’ daughter, but it was always an awkward occurrence and Luna left me alone.  
Joel was clinging to my leg.  
I looked up at John and Dave and John chuckled, “They smell fear Vriska, he’s not going to hurt you.”  
Yeah but his father did.

 

~====End====~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another fic comes to a close! I'm taking a break from writing fanfiction right now to focus on a book I'm writing, but I have a fic started and it's going to be amazing when it's done! It's actually not going to be humanstuck for once too. It'll be great I'll post it as soon as I'm done! Thanks for reading guys!!!!


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